Monday, October 28, 2002

on the john 1.4: The saga continues...

Some of you, not many, have missed the previous tales of how my identity has been stolen in the past. I'm going to fill you in however, as though you have heard the previous. If you would like to be filled in and have not, The first story is contained in the John Henderson life story archives, and the second is "on the John 1" I can email you those if you like. Now read as the final (hopefully) episode of the trilogy unfolds.

At Approximately 3:45pm on October 24th 2002, I received a phone call from Special Agent Michael P. Dupler with the Federal Bureau of Investigation (aka the FBI) I had met with him a year ago when the first incident took place. This is how the conversation went.
FBI: John Henderson, This is Special Agent Dupler, Do you remember me?
JOHN: Uh yeah, I think so. FBI right?
FBI: That's correct. Mr. Henderson have you been in the state of Utah for the past six months?
JOHN: Uh, well no, I spent a week in Oregon in August. But, uh, other than that I have been here.
FBI: That's what I thought. Mr. Henderson, I'm afraid that your identity crisis is not over. Apparently, and I say apparently because you have not left the state, but, apparently there are warrants for your arrest in Illinois and California. Also, there are several out-standing debts that have been acquired in your name and social security #. It is imperative that we meet with you as soon as possible so that we can resolve this problem before it causes you permanent determent.
JOHN: Wow. That's bad isn't it? Um, sure I can meet with you tomorrow. What did I do this time?
FBI: We can discuss that tomorrow. Understand that you may be put under arrest to satisfy judgment until this can be resolved. I will do the best I can Mr. Henderson to avoid arrest, because of your previous experience, but I cannot promise anything.

An appointment was made for the next day at 10:30am. I met with Agent Dupler, and he filled me in on all the juice. He avoided the whole under arrest thingy too.

Agent Dupler explain the several criminal charges in places like Ashland, LA and El Centro, CA. Cities I have never even heard of let alone been in, as well as financed TV's, electronics, Car's? Lets just say the list was long and distinguished [insert Top Gun quote here]

Now, how on Earth does an individual get away with all that? Bail. I think, I'm still a little confused, but Justice hasn't been satisfied for any of these crimes, and no payments have been made on any of the financed automobiles or television.

Here's the thing, the people (that's right, "people", implying more than one) have licenses with their picture on it and all of my information. There are more than one person now who is dragging my identity through the mud. I guess there's some black market or something where people can buy stolen identities. Really all you need to get a new license is your old one and social security card. So if the picture is close enough, they just take a new one.

So, my options: Well, I can prove quite easily with work that I wasn't in any state but Utah at those times. I can also prove very easily that the scoundrel(s) who has been getting caught and arrested is not me because of my finger prints, which differ from there's. So I'm off the hook kind of. Except for the fact that the savage(s) are still running around the United States with my Drivers License and Social security card. And by some miracle, have acquired California, Louisiana, and Illinois versions of my Drivers License too. For the rest of my life "law men" could be banging down my door trying to punish me for others crimes.

Well, why not just change my social security #? As stated by the Social Security Administration, generally an individual is assigned only one Social Security number which is used to record the individual’s earnings for future benefit purposes and to keep track of benefits paid under that number. However, under certain circumstances, SSA may assign an individual a new (different) Social Security number. When they assign a new number, the original number is NOT voided or deleted. For integrity reasons, they cross-refer in their records all the numbers assigned to the same individual. This might seem like a good idea, but my new friends at the FBI are disenchanted about the effectiveness of this move alone. Since it would be very easy for an individual, who possibly not only has three state licenses in my name but an old Social security card, to acquire a new card with the new number. It is evident that he or one of his accomplices know a little bit about how these things work. It might not pose much of an obstacle.

It's looking hopeless so far isn't it? Last year when this first happened, law enforcement and government lackey's said that if I changed my drivers license number, all would be well. That was a futile move because "Bad guy" acquired a new license in two different states with my new number. So the advice Agent Dupler and Special Agent Maria Stettison was that I should change my name, social security number, and Drivers license number again. I don't have to do any of them, but that's the three things to do. Just doing one, like before, may be as effective as before. That way when "dirty crook" gets busted again, they'll notice all the differences and hopefully nab him for ruining my very life and the many other aforementioned crimes. Is this the best way to catch said culprit? In the opinion of this victim and the trusted agents of the FBI, yes.

What about the credit fraud, well after a small investigation, and my guiltiness isn't proven in a court of law. Some government agency (not sure which, and really don't care) will assume the debts and then charge them to the "felon" when he is hopefully apprehended. I thought that was pretty sweet.

Folks, This all started over a year ago, so far nothing has been done, and I suspect nothing will be done in the future. My faith in "the system" is ridiculously low. My advice to you is to guard your Identity with your very life. If there is anything in this world to be anal about that is it. The FBI suspects, who I only know as Anthony, (other aliases where not disclosed to I the victim) to be involved in three identity theft cases! That means two other people are going through the same thing I am. I'm sure there are many many more.

Am I going to heed the advice of Agents Dupler and Stettinson? Yeah probably. I don't really care about changing my social, or DL#. It'll be a gargantuan pain in the tushy, but needs to be done. The name is a little bit of a sore spot. I don't have to, but it seems like it has to be done. I could change it, wait till he gets caught and then change it back... but that might not happen. Plus is costs like a hundred bucks a time. I'm going to give it more thought and prayer. I'll ask your advice. One positive note... well one note anyway. When I was on my mission contemplating fame and fortune, I thought that John Henderson was more of a 'President of the United States' famous name rather than a 'superstar of the media world' famous name. So I spent many a zoned out sacrament meetings toying with changing my name to something a little more fame friendly. It doesn't seem as fun or cool anymore now that it's real and kind of forced. At this point though, I want this nightmare to be over.

So in closing. I wanted to fill you in, also get some idea's for my new name. I would really rather only change my last name. I'm fond of my first and middle names. Who knows though... I'm not even sure if I'll do it yet. I meet with the agents of the Federal Bureau of Investigation tomorrow again. They'll get all my paper work and everything. I'll make my decision by the end of the week.

Advice, ideas, leads as to "Anthony's" whereabouts and lots of big guys with baseball bats and ski masks, or any other help you can offer would be greatly appreciated. I'll do my best to keep you posted. Thanks for reading.


JOHN PATRICK HENDERSON

Wednesday, October 2, 2002

on the john 1.3: about the man

This e-mail has been flying around like madness the past couple days. I have received several of these and since most all of those who sent it to me label me as there answer to #30 I decided in retort to use this little e-mail as my letter for this month. Note:no forwarding necessary, nor do I expect a reply.

1. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER ?
"Sweet Home Alabama"

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW ?
I don't read books. I will say this about books though. There is this myth that if someone has a cyst and you hit it really really hard with a big heavy book it will go away. I testify that this is false. Because I have a cyst, and one night thanks to this myth, my special lady friend at the time hit my cyst (located on my leg) really really hard with a hard back cover "Work and the Glory" All that happened was I rolled around on the ground shrieking like a wee girly. The cyst lives on!

3. FAVORITE BOARD GAME ?
Risk: The game of world domination

4. FAVORITE MAGAZINE ?
Maxim Magazine, the best thing to happen to men since women. It really is a fabulous publication. Sure its got lots of girl pictures, but the real appeal comes in the articles. Maxim offers gospels full of truth. (not a religious reference rather the root meaning of the word: something, such as an idea or principle, accepted as unquestionably true) Why just the other day I learned all about the sport of Sumo wrestling, it was fascinating. Not to mention all the relationship and dating tid bits that help to make me the swingin bachelor I am today.

5. FAVORITE SMELLS ?
I love the smell of women. I don't care what they're using I don't have a fine tuned nose like my roommates (Alan & Adam) but the greatest smell in the world is a girl. Also Freshly cleaned laundry. Anything that makes the corners of my mouth well up and tingle, like a freshly open jar of vinegar, or A1-Steak sauce. And that just-before-it-rains smell.

6. COMFORT FOOD?
I don't exactly know what a comfort food is? Is that a chick term? I do love to eat three healthy sized Vlasic dill pickles and wash it down with a tall glass of 1-2% milk. Does that count?

7. FAVORITE SOUNDS?
I love the sound of somebody laughing, really laughing with all of their heart. I remember when Cameron Daley and I released our film "Out of the blue" at the University of Utah independent film festival, we were sitting on the balcony and listening to the sound of three hundred people laughing at our jokes in unison, that was pretty great. Also I love the sound after you bless the sacrament, when you've said the prayer and right as you pop your head up over the sacrament table and the whole ward says "amen."

8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD ?
Rejection! That's rejection in any form. Whether romantic, professional, emotional, or self.

9. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
Just five more minutes.

10. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE ?
Wendy's! The Frosty is amazing. Then the 99 cent super value menu goes and clenches it.

11. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME ?
Gwen, Marie, Robb, Elijah, Isaiah, Danielle, Pete, Clyde, Rowe, Cleo, Alissa, Camille, Danger, and Tay. I haven't really thought about the other six kids yet, but I'm sure I'll have time to sort that out later.

12. WHERE WAS THE LAST TRIP YOU TOOK ?
It was a road trip with my friend Lara first up to George, WA where we saw Ozzfest (for you oldies thats an all day concert headed up by rock super star Ozzy Ozbourne, featuring several other hard rock bands) it was awesome, then we drove to Portland to visit both our families there, then spent a day at the beach. it was fab!

13. FINISH THIS STATEMENT, "IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY, I WOULD…”
(if when you say a lot you mean $200 million, I'm glad this question is asked, I've given this a lot of thought.) First, unless the money was obtained via filthy lucre, i would happily send $20 mill the lords way. In the event it is obtained via filthy lucre i would find several noteworthy charity's and send $20 million to them. I would pay off my two mortgages, then I would use a hundred million to start a mortgage company giving home, business and commercial loans. Then I would pay off my parents homes, grand parents, aunts uncles and cousins (the ones I see at least once a year. Also all of my friends would receive new cars. That includes anyone who has ever lived in my house, (that I liked) all of my mission companions, the individuals that went to Dee's every night with me in high school and anyone who replies to this e-mail. Then I would purchase that old paint building on 400 s 400 w and make the main floor into business condo's and make the top 3 floors residential condo's. Then I would purchase that plot of land up behind the capital that the cool kids refer to as "make out point", or "top of the world". I would build a house there with all of the I have millions of dollars to squander musts, indoor swimming pool, bowling alley, basketball and racket ball courts, giant home theater and a robot like the one in "Rocky 4". Then I would buy myself a new car, and at our next bonfire we would blow up (as in explode) the car I have now. Anything left would be spent on eating out, courting attractive members of the opposite sex and buying lavish gifts for people on birthdays and Christmas. Oh, and I would always tip 100%.

14. DO YOU DRIVE FAST ?
I just received my 19th life time speeding ticket on Saturday night... I may not be driving anymore, but historically the facts speak for themselves.

15. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL ?
Do people count, and do I have to know their name? Just kidding Mom.

16. STORMS-- COOL OR SCARY ?
Snore

17. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR ?
78' Orange Dodge Van

18. FAVORITE DRINK ?
Mountain Dew

19. FINISH THIS STATEMENT, "IF I HAD THE TIME, I'D .....”
Sleep 6 to 8 hours every day.

20. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?
Yes

21. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
Have you seen my hair? I can and I do.

22. HOW MANY DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS HAVE YOU LIVED IN?
I was born in Provo, Utah then Moved to Portland, Oregon then moved to Sandy UT where I lived till I left on my mission. There I lived in England in the cities of Leeds, Billingham, Grimsby, Workington, Wharf Valley, Newton Aycliffe, York, then back to the US Cincinnati, Ohio, and Hazard, Kentucky, then came home lived in Sandy a couple months and then moved to Salt Lake City. I guess that’s 13.

23. GLASS HALF EMPTY OR FULL ?
Full.

24. FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX ?
Anywhere where I can talk to 1 or more people for long periods of time.

25. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH ?
Uh... X-games

26. ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS.
First I got it from Faith; Faith is one of the most loyal dependable friends that I have.
Second I got it from Mandy; Whom I affectionately refer to as my oldest best friend, I've known her for over 8 years. Then I got it from Nicole, Nicole has one of the funniest personalities on earth. Then I got it from Adam, He... Um... Well... uh... he has a great work ethic. Then I got it from Alan, who is so enjoyable to have a conversation with that I have spent more nights of aimless talking to 5 or 6 in the morning then with anyone else.

27. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED?
I sleep under the stairs on an egg carton mat on the floor.

28. TOILET PAPER/PAPER TOWELS-- OVER OR UNDER ?
I've never paid attention to this until now.

29. OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU E-MAILED THIS TO, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND ?
Greg Sumsion, Troy Haskett

30. LEAST LIKELY ?
John Patrick Henderson (thought I would stay consistent with everyone who sent it to me's)