Wednesday, October 2, 2002

on the john 1.3: about the man

This e-mail has been flying around like madness the past couple days. I have received several of these and since most all of those who sent it to me label me as there answer to #30 I decided in retort to use this little e-mail as my letter for this month. Note:no forwarding necessary, nor do I expect a reply.

1. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER ?
"Sweet Home Alabama"

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW ?
I don't read books. I will say this about books though. There is this myth that if someone has a cyst and you hit it really really hard with a big heavy book it will go away. I testify that this is false. Because I have a cyst, and one night thanks to this myth, my special lady friend at the time hit my cyst (located on my leg) really really hard with a hard back cover "Work and the Glory" All that happened was I rolled around on the ground shrieking like a wee girly. The cyst lives on!

3. FAVORITE BOARD GAME ?
Risk: The game of world domination

4. FAVORITE MAGAZINE ?
Maxim Magazine, the best thing to happen to men since women. It really is a fabulous publication. Sure its got lots of girl pictures, but the real appeal comes in the articles. Maxim offers gospels full of truth. (not a religious reference rather the root meaning of the word: something, such as an idea or principle, accepted as unquestionably true) Why just the other day I learned all about the sport of Sumo wrestling, it was fascinating. Not to mention all the relationship and dating tid bits that help to make me the swingin bachelor I am today.

5. FAVORITE SMELLS ?
I love the smell of women. I don't care what they're using I don't have a fine tuned nose like my roommates (Alan & Adam) but the greatest smell in the world is a girl. Also Freshly cleaned laundry. Anything that makes the corners of my mouth well up and tingle, like a freshly open jar of vinegar, or A1-Steak sauce. And that just-before-it-rains smell.

6. COMFORT FOOD?
I don't exactly know what a comfort food is? Is that a chick term? I do love to eat three healthy sized Vlasic dill pickles and wash it down with a tall glass of 1-2% milk. Does that count?

7. FAVORITE SOUNDS?
I love the sound of somebody laughing, really laughing with all of their heart. I remember when Cameron Daley and I released our film "Out of the blue" at the University of Utah independent film festival, we were sitting on the balcony and listening to the sound of three hundred people laughing at our jokes in unison, that was pretty great. Also I love the sound after you bless the sacrament, when you've said the prayer and right as you pop your head up over the sacrament table and the whole ward says "amen."

8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD ?
Rejection! That's rejection in any form. Whether romantic, professional, emotional, or self.

9. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
Just five more minutes.

10. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE ?
Wendy's! The Frosty is amazing. Then the 99 cent super value menu goes and clenches it.

11. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME ?
Gwen, Marie, Robb, Elijah, Isaiah, Danielle, Pete, Clyde, Rowe, Cleo, Alissa, Camille, Danger, and Tay. I haven't really thought about the other six kids yet, but I'm sure I'll have time to sort that out later.

12. WHERE WAS THE LAST TRIP YOU TOOK ?
It was a road trip with my friend Lara first up to George, WA where we saw Ozzfest (for you oldies thats an all day concert headed up by rock super star Ozzy Ozbourne, featuring several other hard rock bands) it was awesome, then we drove to Portland to visit both our families there, then spent a day at the beach. it was fab!

13. FINISH THIS STATEMENT, "IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY, I WOULD…”
(if when you say a lot you mean $200 million, I'm glad this question is asked, I've given this a lot of thought.) First, unless the money was obtained via filthy lucre, i would happily send $20 mill the lords way. In the event it is obtained via filthy lucre i would find several noteworthy charity's and send $20 million to them. I would pay off my two mortgages, then I would use a hundred million to start a mortgage company giving home, business and commercial loans. Then I would pay off my parents homes, grand parents, aunts uncles and cousins (the ones I see at least once a year. Also all of my friends would receive new cars. That includes anyone who has ever lived in my house, (that I liked) all of my mission companions, the individuals that went to Dee's every night with me in high school and anyone who replies to this e-mail. Then I would purchase that old paint building on 400 s 400 w and make the main floor into business condo's and make the top 3 floors residential condo's. Then I would purchase that plot of land up behind the capital that the cool kids refer to as "make out point", or "top of the world". I would build a house there with all of the I have millions of dollars to squander musts, indoor swimming pool, bowling alley, basketball and racket ball courts, giant home theater and a robot like the one in "Rocky 4". Then I would buy myself a new car, and at our next bonfire we would blow up (as in explode) the car I have now. Anything left would be spent on eating out, courting attractive members of the opposite sex and buying lavish gifts for people on birthdays and Christmas. Oh, and I would always tip 100%.

14. DO YOU DRIVE FAST ?
I just received my 19th life time speeding ticket on Saturday night... I may not be driving anymore, but historically the facts speak for themselves.

15. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL ?
Do people count, and do I have to know their name? Just kidding Mom.

16. STORMS-- COOL OR SCARY ?
Snore

17. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR ?
78' Orange Dodge Van

18. FAVORITE DRINK ?
Mountain Dew

19. FINISH THIS STATEMENT, "IF I HAD THE TIME, I'D .....”
Sleep 6 to 8 hours every day.

20. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?
Yes

21. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
Have you seen my hair? I can and I do.

22. HOW MANY DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS HAVE YOU LIVED IN?
I was born in Provo, Utah then Moved to Portland, Oregon then moved to Sandy UT where I lived till I left on my mission. There I lived in England in the cities of Leeds, Billingham, Grimsby, Workington, Wharf Valley, Newton Aycliffe, York, then back to the US Cincinnati, Ohio, and Hazard, Kentucky, then came home lived in Sandy a couple months and then moved to Salt Lake City. I guess that’s 13.

23. GLASS HALF EMPTY OR FULL ?
Full.

24. FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX ?
Anywhere where I can talk to 1 or more people for long periods of time.

25. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH ?
Uh... X-games

26. ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS.
First I got it from Faith; Faith is one of the most loyal dependable friends that I have.
Second I got it from Mandy; Whom I affectionately refer to as my oldest best friend, I've known her for over 8 years. Then I got it from Nicole, Nicole has one of the funniest personalities on earth. Then I got it from Adam, He... Um... Well... uh... he has a great work ethic. Then I got it from Alan, who is so enjoyable to have a conversation with that I have spent more nights of aimless talking to 5 or 6 in the morning then with anyone else.

27. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED?
I sleep under the stairs on an egg carton mat on the floor.

28. TOILET PAPER/PAPER TOWELS-- OVER OR UNDER ?
I've never paid attention to this until now.

29. OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU E-MAILED THIS TO, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND ?
Greg Sumsion, Troy Haskett

30. LEAST LIKELY ?
John Patrick Henderson (thought I would stay consistent with everyone who sent it to me's)

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