Saturday, May 8, 2004

on the john 3.2: Filthy filthy...

approx. read time 5 mins

Last month my wife went out of town for a week. She went back to Oregon to visit her sisters, and family. Mostly to see her new 5 month old niece Nevaeh Elizabeth. I wanted to go but work kept me at home. Lara asked me to just make sure when she got home that the house was clean. I thought that was a fair request and assured her that it would be done.

The first night she was gone, I stayed up all night playing video games. I was late for work the next day. Something inside me snapped, my wife left, and so did responsibility, reason, cleanliness, and many other traits revered by civilization. I was enveloped again by video games and television. My Mountain Dew consumption reached an all time high. (except for the time I worked at Arctic Circle, and Dew was free) I ate only junk food, and lots of it. The house was completely trashed after the first day. I would quickly prepare a dish of food, eat it on the floor in front of the TV, and leave the dish on the floor next to me. I knew full well the worst I would have to worry about is ants, but I trusted my dog to make sure all dishes were free from old food stuffs that might attract them. This went on and on. I was up very late into the night, and late for work every day. I didn't lift a finger to clean the house, and during commercials I would look around and marvel at the revolting state the house was in. I thought to myself, "Lara would hate this".

In one instance, I had accidentally left the fridge open. I was taking in a round of "Super Mario Kart" and I looked to my left to see my Dog, calmly eating a raw egg. Next to him was the carton full of uncracked eggs that he somehow managed to pick up in the open fridge, move out of the kitchen, through the dining room, across the hallway, and into the living room, undamaged. He opened the carton, and pulled one egg out and began consuming it. Though he still got a sharp "bad dog", the gentle way he handled those eggs with his mouth and that set of chompers he's got was truly astounding… Anyway, so I was a major pig, and things were only getting worse.

I woke up the day that Lara was to return, and as I peeled a Dorito off of my face, I realize that not only did I have to work today, but I had to clean completely the entire house. I worked really hard. As I was cleaning I thought to myself, "This sucks, this really really sucks, I wonder if I could go back if I just cleaned as I went, would I have done it?" This is where I should insert the profound lesson that I had learned and the personal growth that I experience from this week. However, the answer to my self-proposed query is, no. I wouldn't do it any differently if Lara went out of town again. Truth is, I am a slob, and very comfortable with it. So why do I attempt to clean as I go now that I'm married. Prior to my week alone one might say I had changed, cause everyone knows how I lived before I was wed. That’s not it though, obviously, with the weeks events as evidence I haven't changed. I think it’s because of compromise. My wife is happy when the house is clean. I like to make my wife happy, therefore I compromise/sacrifice my irresponsible tendencies. Isn't love terrific that way. The house was clean when she got home, and had I not in detail, regaled her with the weeks adventures, she would have never been the wiser.

Anyway, as far as updates go, things are business as usual. Lara and I are still getting sealed in the Portland Oregon Temple on June 12th, your all welcome to join us there, and at the celebration afterwards. See you soon.

for all your real estate, furniture, and phone bill reducing needs, call John Maxim 801-541-0849