Wednesday, March 3, 2004

on the john 3.1: Minty fresh...

approx read time - 6 mins
Hi everyone, it's been a while since my last "on the john". Again we're starting a new year. I will take the next few sentences to introduce my periodical to those whom have been added in the past year. Not easily motivated to chronicle my life without an audience. I have formulated this letter which I call my "on the john" to not only put my life's experiences onto paper but also update those whom I think might care. The title's coinciding numbers indicate the year of on the johns; i.e. 3 means third year. The number behind the decimal designates the updates chronological place within that year. So without further ado I will move into "on the john 3.1."

The past year (2003) was one filled with new experiences and a lot of learning. Lara and I have been married now for just over a year. The significance of this wasn't realized for me until two of my very close friends told me that they honestly thought I wouldn't make it. I was surprised that this was the case, but in truth, these days one year is pretty great. My wife Lara is really terrific. What is the most interesting is how incredibly different we are. Seriously the only thing we have in common is that we both like pizza. Even with that, I prefer Papa Johns and she prefers Dominos. Other significant 2003 items of note... We got a Dog who is a year old now and is seriously the bestest dog ever... Lara was pregnant but shortly thereafter had a miss-carriage... Lara has had 4 jobs in the last year, finally deciding that she really enjoys working up at the Jeremy Ranch restaurant as a server... I have successfully worked an entire year at a real job with benefits and everything... Lara's sister and her boyfriend moved in with us just before she had her baby, and then moved back out... We moved out of our two bedroom hole in the wall apartment, and into a really cool old house (built 1895)... We both went Skydiving for Lara's birthday... Lara's sister had her baby, a beautiful girl name Nevaeh Elizabeth... My sister April had her baby too, a handsome young fella named Mitchell Donnovan... We owned three cats and another dog, of which we don't own any of them anymore... and uh that's about it.

Life sure is different when you’re married. I know all of you know this. I had a hard time coming to grips with it, and have been mulling it over in my mind repeatedly trying to figure out why. There are a few conclusions I have come to. One that I'll mention, the level of certainty has increased, whether it's real or not, it seems that way. You know when you’re dating someone, even seriously, you’re never quite sure how committed or involved they are. If you really like them you don't want to drive them away so you just make things a little more, uh, user friendly. Not lies or being something you’re not, just being careful. For example when I was single, not a day, nay a moment went by and I wasn't chewing a slice of gum. My minty fresh breath always went over well with the lady's. "Good Breath" was one of Lara's mate requirements (one of the reasons I got so lucky getting a wife like Lara). Well, I got married... and this habit started to dissipate. I didn't decide, "Oh I'm married now, there's no need to constantly chew gum". It did stop happening as frequently though. I think it's because when I was single I was a nervous mess. In my seeming endless pursuit of female companionship it made me tremble to think while at the grocery store or the local arcade that I would meet Ms. Right with rank breath. As a result I chewed gum all the time. Once I no longer feared meeting a member of the opposite sex off guard my motivation dwindled and so did my gum usage. A couple of weeks ago my wife pointed out to me that my breath was less than appealing more often then not. Not a boost to my ego, but good to know. Now that fear that I used to have has been replaced by a new fear. That my wife might withhold valuable cuddling and kisses because my breath stinks. I couldn't handle that and so my gum chewing has again hit record usage. Because of this, and several others experiences. I have been trying to identify what my motivation for pre-marriage dating rules were, so that now in this new phase of being I can adjust those motivations to my life now, that is, pleasing my wife... keeping her interested. I was a really good dater, if I do say so myself... and I do. I'm probably not as good at being a husband, yet, but I'm working on it.

Lately my hobbies/activities include: [Soccer - Last year our team did awesome in outdoor soccer, moving up a division and building a strong team. I play as goalie. We are starting again this year the end of March, and have already begun indoor soccer. If you ever want to catch a game let me know, and I will add you to the "game update email list"] [Dog Skating - with the snow gone for a few days I was able to begin work on the new sport I am inventing. Dog Skating is a cross between skateboarding a dog sledding. What you need: a powerful, preferably large, high energy dog, a Harness, 6-8 foot leash, and an off-road skateboard. At first it was just a ploy to wear out my dog with the least amount of effort used on my part. However it ended up being an adrenaline rush with highly addictive qualities. I expect it's inclusion in the X-games in less than 5 years.] [Church - I once again have been called as the "Gospel Doctrine" teacher. Lucky for me they have lesson manuals since it's something I don't know much about, it's a fun calling and allows me to get some of that attention I'm always starving for.] [Comics - As most of you know, in my pursuit to entertain my fellow man, my good friend Cameron Daley and I have created a comic strip. It is called "Out of the Blue", and is based on our feature film of the same name. It is published weekly or more in over 20 college newspapers. We have gotten a lot of good feedback on them, and have just recently submitted our portfolio to several syndicates hoping for some national and professional distribution.] [Video Games - My favorites right now include SSX 3, the third installment of the super duper snow boarding experience. Also Super Mario-Kart on the game cube is very exiting, and there is definitely not enough time to play enough of either.] [The Marathon - I was planning on running the Salt Lake Marathon on pioneer day. I began training, but have discovered that running long distances takes time. Lots of time. I have estimated that in the 25 week training program I was on, that by the day of the marathon I would have spent a total of 305 hours running a total of 1875 miles. Sure that looks like only 14 hours a week, but in reality the last 6 weeks your running in excess of 20 hours a week... now really, how many of us have enough time to add an activity to our schedule which monopolizes 20 hours a week. Anyway I quit training for it... and now I have sufficiently justified it to myself so I don't feel like a big quitting pansy, you can make your own decision.

As always I enjoy hearing from all of you, and in the past few months I have not been spending enough, if anytime with you. I have realized how I miss my interaction with each of you. As time goes by our friendships which were once daily occasions have dwindled to this electronic correspondence. Unfortunately time, circumstances, and new priority's make it difficult to get together or even communicate with some on a regular basis. However you have made a significant enough impression on me that I will always try and stay in touch with you. Hopefully the favor will be returned.

A bit of final news which will be exciting for some, and may require a bit of explanation for others. Lara and I have set a date to be sealed in the Temple. We are planning to be sealed in the Portland Oregon Temple on June 12th 2004. This date is of a 90% surety. In lay-mans terms Lara and I have been married on Earth according to the authority of man. We believe that there is an authority that God gives us to be joined as Husband and Wife on earth as well as in heaven. Meaning we would be joined in Holy Matrimony for time and all eternity, not only till death do us part. This is a sacred ceremony performed in a Temple, much like the one built by King's Solomon and David in the Old Testament. We are very excited for this chance and hope that all who can, would attend. Please contact me or my wife directly for any further information, i.e. temple sealing questions, lodging, travel plans, and the after sealing reception/casual-get-together. Presents are not required or a standard practice at sealings however if your feeling giving, we need a new "George Foreman's lean mean grilling machine" (one too many metal utensils scraping the Teflon coating) I want a wireless X-box controller (preferably by Logitech) and Lara would appreciate gift certificates to any store which specialize in woman's clothing.

Thanks for reading.

John