Friday, May 5, 2006

The Adoption Chronicles: volume 25

I can’t sleep. My wife and I are planning on adopting this little baby boy within the week, and we aren’t even sure it’s going to go through. If this was a regular old boring adoption, I am sure there would still be uncertainties. I know I have heard that some girls change their mind at the last minute, and right now I would welcome that being the biggest concern. I can’t pray enough to have this work out for the best. I keep trying to pray for the baby’s best interests. I know deep down what I want. What my wife wants. It can’t be wrong for me to ask for this adoption to work out despite the monumental obstacles. I do concede to the Lords will, especially because I recognize that alone I cannot get this done. So I guess what I am saying is that if God would rather we learn from the loss (which is what it would be) of this child in our lives, rather than having us adopt and raise this child… well then I will accept that and attempt to grow… I am not praying for it though. “Ask and you shall receive, knock and it shall be opened unto you” right? It doesn’t say “Ask for what you want but end every sentence with - whatever you want will be cool Lord” That seems more like lacking in faith. Anyway I am rambling in my own journal. I just look at this situation and think that if this doesn’t workout it will be seriously discouraging to both me and my wife. Ugh, I need to go to sleep! Tomorrow, or rather today, is a big day, we are meeting Aaron. I’ll try and read my scriptures - that always knocks me out.

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