Regardless of the origins, a definition of "fag" is: an effeminate male. In the context of this story it means just that. I know several men of alternate sexual preference who are not effeminate at all and could mop the pavement with my face in a game of laser tag, so I just want it clear that I in no way intend for anyone, no matter what team they play for, to be offended. Besides, fag rhymes with the word "tag" and fits wonderfully considering.
The other day, I get invited to play laser tag for my friend Nicole's birthday. I got pretty excited, last time I played was a while ago. I was on a date, and I totally kicked her butt. So my confidence levels were at a peak with the prospect of playing again.
The week prior to the shoot out, I started talking trash to whomever would listen. It would go something like this: "What, you're not coming?... well that's probably good, because when the lights go out I'm like a ninja. You wouldn't stand a chance." or "Trust me, even with my cat like speed and reflexes, I'll have the self control to stop killing you just before you start to cry."
The day came, and as per usual, it's me and a bunch of girls. (see 2/13/08 blog entry) There were a few other guys there, and they were ready for battle. One even came in camo and had a black beanie. I discovered we would be playing underneath black lights... I had my powder blue t-shirt on. I quietly scoffed at everyone else's over preparedness, and started fantasizing about what I could say when it was over and everyone found out I had the most kills.
I had a lot of fun, but my gun broke a couple of times, and I didn't do as well as I had hoped. Still I wasn't prepared when the rankings were posted.
1. camo Dude
2. hot Girl in camo
3. other Dude
4. hot Girl in black
5. other Dude
6. hot Girl in black
7. hot Girl in black
8. hot Girl in black
9. hot Girl in green
10. hot Girl in black
11. hot Girl in black
12. hot Girl in all white
13. John Maxim
There I am, Mr. Ninja, in last freaking place. Worse part is, nobody rubbed it in... that's when you really know people think you're pathetic. They're too worried you'll start to cry or something. So, there you have it, I got beat by a bunch of girls, badly. The reality is hitting me pretty hard right now as I write this. I was very un-ninja like. Luckily they still let me come over and have pizza with them... ... still... ... I think "fag" is fairly appropriate here.
John Maxim