Thursday, August 21, 2008


He arrived at her house three minutes late, took a whiff of his shirt to make sure his cologne wasn't too strong, and that he had remembered to apply it. He had.

She answered the front door, and was wearing a dress! He wasn't prepared for that and froze for a second. She looked beautiful, and he instantly became aware of how much better looking she was than he. He had planned to give her a hug at the door, but nervousness caught him off guard and instead he said something depreciating about himself and complementary about her as he started walking towards his car. He opened her car door and while walking around the front of the car gathered his wits and repeated in his mind the phrase, "You're the prize." a couple of times.

The drive was a little long but the conversation flowed easily. She was laughing quite a bit and he felt like he was in top form. He kept trying to look at her and catch a glimpse of her because he remembered how adorable her laugh made her look. Unfortunately, her seat was too far back, thanks to his stupid brother who always slid the seat back all the way in his car. Usually he would move the seat up before a date so when he did look to the side it made for a comfortable gaze, and possibly some prolonged eye contact. Blast! He wished he hadn't forgotten tonight.

She opened her own door when they arrived. She was a great conversationalist. This was something he had a hard time finding, a girl who was beautiful and full of personality. As they walked to the theatre he noticed how graceful she was. He really thought she was classy, he wanted to remember to use the word "classy" in a compliment later when the time was right. He knew he was not classy and thought there was a high probability she thought he was a goof and was just there for the free activity and meal.

They passed a group of guys on the sidewalk, and all of their eyes were fixed firmly on her. He saw one of them smile, and wondered if she had smiled back. He relayed the experience to her (minus the smile part) and she mentioned how she liked that sort of thing. She liked being "the prize." He found that extremely attractive, it's hard to find a confident woman in today's world. He sought out to determine if she was more than confident, cocky, or arrogant... he was looking for a reason to dislike her because he worried that she would dislike him.

The old wooden seats in the theatre really put them close together. He tried to concentrate on the play, but it was a musical, and half the time he didn't know what they were saying. It also became impossible for him to focus because her knee would bump into his every so often. Sometimes, it would linger almost as if she didn't notice, and other times she would quickly pull away as though she felt she had overstepped her bounds. Was this a green light?

For the entire second act all he could think about was what her reaction might be if he tried to hold her hand. He wondered if he was too old to be even bothering with the hand hold. He concluded that he certainly was too old to be this concerned about it. He looked over at her. The dim lighting caught her jaw line. The thought "crap she is way too hot for me!" popped into his head. She noticed his stare, and turned to meet it. It seemed like longer than a second, but it wasn't. He consciously decided he wasn't going to look away - not like a staring contest or anything, he just didn't want her to know how nervous he was of her. He smiled, she smiled back and then she turned her attention back to the show, a little smile cracked across her face as though maybe she was a little embarrassed. He freaked a little thinking he'd been staring to long, and that his little confidence-boosting look may have come off creepy. He got scared and decided not to reach for her hand after all.

What was it about her that made this date so different from the rest? She was beautiful, that wasn't it though, plenty of the others were as stunning. She was funny, but not as funny as some. She was interesting and smart. He didn't think she was dumb, which happens more often then not. He couldn't put his finger on it, but the more he thought about it the more excited he got.

After the show they walked to a nearby restaurant for dinner. He noticed she'd been asking all the questions, really going out of her way to get to know him. He had to make a conserted effort to turn that around but noted the difference. Most women, especially attractive ones, are only interested in themselves. During dinner she told him that he made her laugh. He was used to that compliment, but it sure felt good after a night of feeling inferior.

The drive home was terrific, and he found himself driving the speed limit just to prolong the moment. As he pulled up to her house he got really nervous. He had scared himself out of making a lot of his usual moves. Like the hand hold, the hand on the small of the back while walking, and stuff like that. If he tried something now he wondered if it would be uncalled for. He thought to himself "Do I have to kiss her." He responded to himself, "No, but I really really want to." She hadn't really given him a ton of green lights either, but usually the guy has to lead and tonight he did a horrible job.

She was saying something as they walked to her door and he didn't hear a word she said. His mind was filled with what might happen in the following moments. He hugged her she asked "Do you want to come in?" A commonly regarded maxim is "if she invites you in, you are going to score." He obliged and entered her house.

She gave him a little tour of her place. They didn't sit down or anything they just talked for a while. All he could think about was kissing her. He paid very special attention to what his eyes were doing. He thought about just grabbing her and doing it. He was too scared! What was the problem? Normally he would have no issue with this scenario. Normally he'd be worrying more that they were getting horizontal too quickly!

The whole thing was a blur and as he left he thought, "I have failed, this whole date was a failure!" Then she opened the door to let him out and hugged him. The hug was long. After about 20 seconds (if you don't think thats long hug the person next to you for 20 seconds) he determined that if she pulled out slowly he was going for it. Then after a full 60 seconds of hugging she pulled away quickly and said "Thank you." He said, "No. Thank you." then turned. Before he even started walking, the door shut behind him.

He sat in his car in her driveway for a few minutes bewildered and disappointed. The crushing weight of failure rested firmly on his mind. He wondered if he could even go on a another date after that performance. He kept looking at her door while images of the numerous missed opportunity's flashed through his mind. Why couldn't he have been more confident? Why did he waste so much time analyzing things? Why the long hug then the sudden goodbye? Why did this have to happen on this date?

He didn't get any sleep that night. She has been on his mind ever since.

Johnny Metropolis.


Steph said...

I'm glad to hear that even one of the most confident, self-assured people I know has moments of doubt sometimes.

Steph said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jaime Van Hoose Steele said...

You should write a book.

Cameron's Corner said...

You need to get laid.

Anonymous said...

I've been out with you before and this story is definately about somebody else!

Unknown said...

So, who is this mystery woman? Does she know that she drives you crazy? Does she read your blog? If this is a true story I hope you don't think she wont know just because you didn't use names.

LT said...

Her perspective:


He showed up late and was wearing a wife beater and shorts. Oh man, I'm overdressed. We went to a musical. It was a great story about a man who spent his life dedicated to building a church. He went through a lot of trials and tribulations. I thought the main actor had a great voice, although the lead actress was a little shrill at times. I did notice that I liked her haircut. Mental Note: I need to get a haircut soon. I kept noticing my date staring at me. Weird. After the play we drove back home. He hugged me and wouldn't let go. I felt bad, so I invited him in. He was all quiet and weird. After giving him the tour, I hugged him again and saw him out. I need to call my hair stylist soon. The more I think about it, the more I HAVE to have that haircut. It was great!

The Pachuilo Family said...

In exciting olympic news John Maxim won the Gold, Silver and Bronze for "Longest Hug without getting any Action" Click ->
John Wins

Heather D in LV said...

LT's perspective is funny but I think this is more accurate.


Thank goodness he was late to pick me up I needed a bit more time to get ready. I knew that the dress would be a bit much but I didn't care. I could tell by the look on his face he was impressed. It was cute he looked a little awkward. We got into his car, it was really nice. He does well, that’s better then most the men I date. We went to a play it was really good. We touched legs a couple of times but he was a bit standoffish. Dinner was great he is so funny. When we got home I was really nervous, he hadn't been very flirtatious. He gave me a hug and then he was just going to leave. I had so much fun I didn't want him to go, so I invited him in. He came in and we talked a little bit but I could tell he just wasn't interested so I gave up. We hugged again as he left, he smelled good, and gave a great hug. I suddenly realized that it was a long hug, too long, he was probably wondering when I was going to let go. He probably thought I was a dork. I could feel my face flushing so I pulled away, said goodbye and went inside as fast as I could.

Anonymous said...

If Johnny Metropolis is telling a story about John Maxim, I suppose if a girl were to go on a date (or had gone on a date) with him and he kissed her without much effort. She could take from this that he didn't like her. He sounds like a total jerk!

Laura Lee said...

The story was good but the "illustrations" cracked me up. It was almost like reading a Danielle Steele novel -- only rated "G".

I lose sleep over crap like this too.

Cook with Tom said...

Dude, stories like this is what you get for involving yourself in the Twilight series.

I'm sure the whole date you were comparing yourself to Edward.

Come on Jonny, time to reclaim your manhood!

/seriously though, well written. I wonder if she googled you after the date, found your blog, and knows you wrote about it?

cherilyn said...

ha ha ha. "you're the prize."

Mike Bringhurst said...

Well written and I told you this on the phone as I tried to get it out of you who "she" was. You understand that this lovely prose, so in touch with your feelings would really place you in the category of those of us males that enjoy a good love story like the one you bash in your previous post.

JoRae aka Lolae said...

Yeah, I am totally confused. But, I do have to agree that the illustrations add just the right touch. Corny Touch.

April Dolato said...

I had to change my url. It's now

Unknown said...

John, I just want to say...real quick that I'm a little bitter about still being on the bottom of your blog. I have posted 3 blogs in 2 and a half weeks. I know I had some down time there but I think I've more then made up for it - Just a thought...that you should think about :)

Vearl said...

Who's she, the cats mother?

SRA said...

Is that why you were so distracted teaching SS on Sunday? Hoping she'd show up to the ward?

Anonymous said...

So, is this girl still on your brain? Or have you been able to move on. She sounds pretty fantastic.... I know you won't respond to anonymous mystery writers, but some of us are curious!!