Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween

I went to a total of 6 parties in three counties over the week preceeding halloween as Michael Phelps ! It was nothing less than liberating. The protrayal of such a revered figure bares some serious responsibility.You may think there is a prostetic stomach involved in the costume, but thats just because you are used to seeing me with my clothes on and I buy slim fit tees. It was such a convincing costume, that people were walking up to me saying, "Hey Michael have you seen John Maxim anywhere?"
Imodest? I don't see how dressing up like Michael Phelps, An American Icon, can be construed as imodest. Can it?

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Red Handed

Below is an email that Cameron and I got for our Movie Review show. For those of you who don't know, Cameron and I got a show which will start airing on cable access channel 6 next week. We have put up each review individually on youtube. It pleases me to no end that we were actually noticed by the Associated Press, automated or not. (the reviews are edited by Jon Madsen, and the logo was designed by Lara Durham)

Dear CinematicExperience,

Your video
"Eagle Eye (2008) The Cinematic Experience Review" has been identified by YouTube's Content Identification program as containing copyrighted content which Associated Press (AP) claims is theirs.
Your video
"Eagle Eye (2008) The Cinematic Experience Review" is still available because Associated Press (AP) does not object to this content appearing on YouTube at this time. As long as Associated Press (AP) has a claim on your video, they will receive public statistics about your video, such as number of views. Viewers may also see advertising on your video's page.

Claim Details:

Copyright owner: Associated Press (AP)
Content claimed: Some or all of the visual content
Policy: Allow this content to remain on YouTube. Place advertisements on this video's watch page.
Applies to these locations:Everywhere

Associated Press (AP) claimed this content as a part of the YouTube Content Identification program. YouTube allows partners to review YouTube videos for content to which they own the rights. Partners may use our automated video / audio matching system to identify their content, or they may manually review videos.

If you believe that this claim was made in error, or that you are otherwise authorized to use the content at issue, you can dispute this claim with Associated Press (AP) and view other options in the
Video ID Matches section of your YouTube account. Please note that YouTube does not mediate copyright disputes between content owners. Learn more about video identification disputes.

The YouTube Content Identification Team

© 2008 YouTube, LLC

Friday, October 17, 2008

Manna from heaven

It was Saturday night. John Maxim had season tickets to the Real Salt Lake game. He originally had a date, but decided that he really didn't want to go out with her so he cancelled, and wondered who he was going to give his extra ticket to.

His roommates were all already going to the game too. He decided to take his friend Ben. The game was fun, as per usual, and being there with another dude wasn't at all like the time he went and saw the chick flick "Return To Me" with just his friend Cameron one Saturday night. The game ended and Real Salt Lake lost... again. It was Ben's first pro soccer game and John always felt a little dumb when he took his friends to games when they lose.

As they were leaving the game, John realized it was really only 9:30. And as they say, the night was young. While they started the trek through the stadium towards where they had parked. They had to walk single file and conversation wasn't ideal. Johns mind wandered thinking about what the rest of the night might have to offer.

Once out of the stadium, Ben says, "Did you see those two hot girls?" John said "No, where?" Ben pointed ahead of them to two figures about 30 yards away. They did indeed looked hot from there. John wasn't sure about Ben's taste, and since they happened to be heading the same direction picked up the pace to insure the females weren't in the "good from far but far from good" category.

There was still crowd going their direction and the girls were a little mixed up as to where they were exactly so John and Ben gained on them a little bit faster then they were intending. They ended up right behind them. Ben was right, they were very attractive (smoking hot)... these were the kind of girls John tried to go out with, even though he wasn't good looking enough for them.

John and Ben didn't say much, and neither did the two hottys. It seemed that both parties were aware of each other, but didn't really want to let on. John tried to force a conversation with Ben about fantasy football, but he and Ben really just kept looking at they're attractive backsides and walking.

It occurred to John that if he or Ben were to say something it might seem a bit creepy. They might think they were following them. Afterall what are two girls alone in the dark likely to think. Neither John or Ben made any attempt to strike up a conversation, and really weren't saying much to each other either.

They had been walking for a whole block and came up to a cross walk. It was one of those crosswalks where all of the lights went green at once. There was still a bit of a crowd, and when the light went green people walked in all directions. Without trying, John and Ben found themselves ahead of the two hotty's, still heading the same direction.

They walked another whole block, just the four of them. John thought to himself, "Ben is much better looking then me, by at least two points, he'll say something." Well, he didn't. Then John thought, "Perhaps Ben thinks that because I am so funny that I should say something... but what would I say?"

There was another cross walk coming up, were one stategizing a plan of attack, it would be the best time to initiate something. Some lines were running through John's head, like, turning and looking a couple of times kind of nervously and then saying "Um... are you guys following us? What do you want?" Or he thought he could just say, "So, what did your boyfriends do, that you left them at home and came to the game by yourselves?" A few other s popped into his head... but he didn't say anything. He just stood at the corner and stared across the street.

Once John realized he wasn't going to say anything like a big fat coward. He kept hoping Ben would say something. He didn't. After practically walking these girls to their car with out saying a word John and Ben get into Johns car. The girls walk on to their car which was parked just 30 feet away.

"I can't believe we didn't say anything" exclaimed John. "Well I said something at those sprinklers but they didn't respond." replied Ben. "You did? Are you sure they heard you? What did you say? I didn't hear you and I was standing right next to you." John asked. "No, I did, maybe they didn't hear me."

John and Ben hung their heads as the realization of what had just occurred sunk into to their thick cowardly skulls. What do two single guys hope for when they are out? They hope that they will meet two good looking girls. This is exactly what any guy could ever hope for. Two girls - Two really hot girls, alone at a soccer game on a Saturday night. Who happened to leave the stadium at the exact same time as them, and happened to park not 30 feet from where they parked. They were walking the same way for four full blocks and with all of Ben's looks, and all of Johns whit they couldn't even muster a "Hello."

The two men went home and watched TV like a couple of losers, once every 15 minutes or so one of them would lament their poor performance. It was too perfect a set up, it's as if some higher power were handing these two nubile beauty's to them and they just decided to reject the gift. When the Israelites rejected the manna given them the "Lord smote them with a great plague..." One wonders what a great plague is in terms of relationships? I guess John and Ben are going to find out.

Johnny Metropolis

Monday, October 13, 2008

The Blog Post

I have been getting a lot of you who have been asking me why I am not posting to my blog... So I decided today I would update it. I had planned a clever little entry about what one does when they have missed blogging. I even went to the lengths to look up a bunch of my peers blogs and see what they did after missing a big chunk of time blogging... then I wrote a paragraph or two and I got done and thought. This totally sucks. There is not one bit of redeeming value in this blog post. It's not funny, informative, or interesting. I deleted it and stared at the wall for a while thinking to myself "what could I write..."

After a while I decided I didn't have anything that fit the previously mentioned adjectives. So I figured I'd just write and see what happens. So far the post still sucks and I am thinking that maybe today wasn't the best time to post...

So whats been going on in my life? What could possibly have been monopolizing my time so that blogging was being neglected?

The Bad: A girl I had a crush on is all but engaged to someone else. I haven't made any money for nearly six months. I ran my car into an inanimate object. Some of my oldest closest friends have told me they no longer trust me. My dog is going blind. I can't seem to meet a girl who interests me. My roof needs to be replaced. and I have been working nearly 80 hours a week - still not making any money.

The Good: I went to Lake Powell and stayed on a houseboat last month for the first time ever. My friend Cameron and I got a movie review show on Comcast channel 6! I am in the best shape of my life. My soccer team has a winning record. I've been living off of fresh grown vegetables out of my own garden. I broke the 200 friends mark on Facebook which are all actual friends - not just acquaintances. My parents love me and let me know it. I like all my roommates.

The Middle: I found out that even though my brother is taller than me by two whole inches, that my arms are longer than his, so either I'm an ape or he's like T-Rex. I finished all three seasons of Battlestar Galactica.

So for some reason all of that junk has made it difficult for me to make blog posts... I will try to do better in the future. I left the links to others blog posts after they had missed a while that were in my original blog post below and the words that I was using to describe them for your bemusement.