Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Honest Answer

Traversing the world of dating for a second time really sucks. I still have a lot to learn and will undoubtedly be given lessons this harsh in the futrue. I'm starting to think I'm not very good at it. I am going to post an actual text conversation that I had. I will leave the pre-convo and post-convo circumstances to you, the readers, imaginations.

GIRL at 11:00 AM:
Hey... so... i didn't want to bring this up and make things awkward, but... i can't really tell if you are interested in me or not, which leads me to think you aren't, but i kinda would like to know. I would be interested. But if not, i don't see why you would mind me going out with Roger. Not that he asked, I am just wondering.

GIRL at 2:29 PM:
No thoughts on that huh?

JOHN at 2:57 PM:
I should be and infact I want to be interested, but I'm not. I'm still too messed up from my divorce & emotionally unavailable. I still want to be friends though & hope this doesn't make it awkward. I'm sorry on the Roger thing, I didn't mean to communicate not to go out with him, I was just warning you about who he is. You're a big girl though, you can take care of yourself. I want things to be cool with us & hope they are. Thanks.

GIRL at 2:58 PM:
This is why i told you weeks ago that i didn't want to make out with you, to avoid this situation. Yes it is awkward. No we cannot still be friends.

JOHN at 3:00 PM:
I'm really sorry to hear that. I think you're being unfair. I hope you will reconsider.

24 comments:

Betsy said...

I have a lot that I could say about this situation, however as I was typing it all out I started to feel guilty, I was pretty mean. You were honest with her 100%, a make out is no big deal, it's not like you slept with her or had her give you a B.J. or something. I say good riddance and I'm leaving the rest out.

Heather D in LV said...

Even though I agree with most everything Betsy says... you have got to know that girls take things more seriously than boys. I think your a jerk John! Sure, you answered her honestly but you coldly made out with her without emotion... honest or not I'm guessing there's is as much, if not more fault in your corner.

I love you though.

Cameron's Corner said...

I think we all know that you're not really "sorry to hear that" and you really don't "hope [she'll] reconsider".

I have a feeling that Roger is going to have a great time with her.

Nicole said...

Some girls just get more emotionally invested after making out, sometimes even after just holding hands, it's in our nature and I admit I am one of those girls(with the making out not so much the hand holding) and am not big on being good friends with someone after we've made out and it doesn't go anywhere. What's the point? You're both going to move on eventually anyway. But since you didn't make out with this chick just give her some time and I'm sure you guys will be friends again, and if not I'm sure both of you will be fine. No biggie.....

Nicole said...

Wait you did make out with this chick?? Ok that's bordering the jerk line....

Just Me said...

I have the bad habit of making out with people I'm not interested, too. And for some odd reason, they all threaten to go out with Roger afterwards, as well!

Just Me said...

Insert "in" after the word "interested".

SRA said...

Ouch. This girl is reading too much into the situation if a simple text conversation is "awkward" for her. Face-to-face would probably make her face melt off her skull or something.

T Wolf said...

If U lie and act interested yur an ass.

If U tell the truth yur an ass.

If U post the event on yur blog and she see's it yur an ass.

If U dont hook up with her in the first place yur an upstanding guy.

Not much U can do now though... ass. However, this was me 7 years ago and we're still friends. She'll learn yur not that great.

Cameron's Corner said...

Hey t wolf...

U txt 2 mch

Laura Lee said...

Poor girl. I don't want to make assumptions without all the details but:

a) you could have said you were sorry or given an explanation for not responding to her "going out on a limb" text sooner and made it clear that you weren't ignoring her.

b) if she said she didn't want to make out with you to avoid this situation she shouldn't have. Especially if she was clear of your lack of interest. If you didn't make that clear, you are kind of a jerk. Clearly, she was into you.

c) I'm sorry but the "you're a big girl" comment was so condescending it negates your "wanting things to be cool" comment. It's probably good you didn't say that to her face.

Sorry. Dating must really suck the second time around. I can't even imagine.

T Wolf said...

Hey Cameron,

yur such a better person than me because you spell out the word "you"

way ta point that out, you & yur friend Doug Wright can be douche's together!

Cameron's Corner said...

I'm telling Doug U said that.

T Wolf said...

Whatever elitest. Tell Hitler while yur at it.

Cameron's Corner said...

Quite the little spitfire aren't you?

I'm married, t wolf, so stop yur flirting.

Maria said...

I think you being honest with your answer was great. Same goes for her. I'm sad that this conversation happened over text...

Annie said...

Call me crazy, but if people only made out with people they were interested in, wouldn't it save everyone from being in this situation?

The Pachuilo Family said...

I think there should be a rule that the first comment left after each "OntheJohn" post should make reference to BJ's. Nice job Betsy.

Sounds to me like "Your Worlds are Colliding". Since you're emotionally unavailable you should keep your "friends" world far away from your "hook-up" world. Everyone really likes you in "friends" world where we all see you as the best guy ever which you are. In the "hook-up" world Roger doesn't exist because you have no friends in common. You only go to the planet "hook-up" a few times a month and in a best case scenario you have 3 or 4 options to choose from. Everyone is emotionally unavailable in the "hook-up" world so it's just good clean fun and you don't have to worry about texting your feelings.

Beau said...

What's a BJ? All this text language sure does get confusing.

jaime said...

Haha!! Oh John....what did I tell you about making out with certain people?? Maybe you should run the next girl by me and actually listen to me when I say "Dont Do It"!!

Betsy said...

I must say, I'm super surprised at how many people think that John is a Jerk in this situation. If this girl was interested in John, she should have just said that flat out, instead of playing mind games by asking if he cares if she goes out with"Roger". If people were more honest with words in the first place, that would save a lot of pain. I feel bad for the girl because she has her feelings hurt, but honestly, IT WAS A MAKE OUT! GET OVER IT! You can still exist in the same world, maybe even smile at each other once in a while knowing you shared a special moment. Life gets better. Good luck

LT said...

Man, I'm glad I'm married and my wife lets me live at home....

Aubrey Lang said...

wow, that is mean. I agree with you, she should reconsider the friend thing. And yes you should hve push the tank to the limit, pulled a kramer (that episode was hilarious) I think in the end it would have been worth it to spend 18 cents less per gallon. Just think of the possibilities..... a whole 18 cents per gallon gained!

Average Joe said...

Jon, you da man!