Thursday, July 22, 2010

Save the Maxi Pad (FAQ)

The name of your house is... The Maxi Pad?
My name is John Maxim, people enjoy, at my expense no doubt calling me 'Maxi' so they affectionately refer to my house as the "Maxi-pad"... get it?

Why not call a foreclosure attorney or file bankruptcy?
I have exhausted every avenue in getting to this point. I have spoken to many attorneys, know my rights and the rules of law governing foreclosure. I would not be resorting to this if there were any other viable options.

How are you going to pay $15,000 back?
If credit weren't such a screwed up system I would simply go to a bank and get a $15,000 loan. They would offer me something like 5 years at 10% which would roughly be $300 a month. I will pay $300 a month back until every person is paid in full. I'll pay back the strangers first, the friends second, and the family 3rd.

So I might not get my $5 back for 5 years?
Yes... you might not. So if you can't live without the money you are paying to see me light my car on fire you might just want to go to McDonald's instead, though we both know that's a meal you could afford to skip.

That's pretty rude to say to someone you're trying to borrow money from.
Yeah, well that wasn't even a question. So maybe it was rude... if we were friends you'd just give me the money, instead you're going to nit-pick over every little thing. If we are not friends and you can't take a little shouldn't-eat-McDonald's-because-you're-fat joke then we likely never will be friends. Besides I am obviously a little testy right now seeing as my mortgage company totally lied to me and is now trying to steal my house. I'm sorry, I am usually very nice.

What are you going to drive after burning your car?
I have another car. I have a loan on it and I am grossly upside down. Buying it is the worst thing I've ever done. I would love to burn it, but the bank I have my car loan through would press charges.

Why not sell both your cars?
The one I am burning is probably worth $1000. I am $6000 upside down on my other car. Though I'm not a math major or anything I'm not certain how -$5000 will help me save my house.

Do you really think you'll be arrested?
Depends on where I do it. Law enforcement caught wind of this little endeavor and contacted me to tell me that I could be charged with reckless burning at the very least and any number of other charges. If I can find private property to burn it on that would be my best bet... I'd burn it on my front yard but it's so small it would probably start my house on fire, and that wouldn't solve any of my problems.

This is crazy! Do you think it'll actually work?
That depends on you. Spread the word. Many hands make light work. But, no, I don't think it'll work. I don't have enough time, but I have to try.

How can I lend you some money for this worthy scheme?
Click on the "donate" button in the sidebar. (Where it says "donate" it means "lend") Or log into www.paypal.com and send it to onthejohn@comcast.net

1 comment:

Matt said...

OK.

Let's take a look at this:-

1) The bank COULD have come to an arrangement with you, but prevaricated and delayed. Until...

2) Such time as their policy changed and they could no longer accept the money they would have accepted.

3) Look out for a bid for your house from someone working on the behalf of an employee of HSBC.