If you never read my "on the johns", this is the one you should really pay attention to.
Two big items. Number one, my name change is in the works. (for those who don't know I had my identity severely stolen and to combat it have been forced to change my name, social, and drivers license #) I have decided to herald the name JOHN PATRICK MAXIM. This name came to me with a slew of other suggestions. I took it through my 4 tests: Imagined what it would look like on the back of a sports Jersey, said out loud “John Patrick Maxim”, said out loud “The Maxims”, said out loud mimicking a child’s voice “Mom, I'm going over to the Maxims to play”. Needless to say, it passed the initial tests.
So I looked it up in the dictionary to see what it meant the definition: A succinct* general truth, rule of conduct, or formulation of a fundamental principle. I thought that was pretty cool. Then underneath the definition it spoke of an American born British inventor Sir Hiram Stevens Maxim, inventory of early machine gun, his brother Hudson Maxim invented Smokeless Gun powder, and Hiram’s Son invented the silencer. I thought that was cool, even though I've only held a fire arm as many times as arms I have, still I really like Arnold Schwarzenegger movies which made this info cool. Also it verified that it is an actual surname.
The next big news is that I am getting married. On Saturday, tomorrow, To Lara. We have been dating for several months, things were turbulent for a while mostly due to my inability to A) commit, and B) believe in love. I, as per usual, put her through the same cycle that all the girls I dated went through. I was off and on, never letting them know how I really felt, constantly playing games and trying to obtain and maintain control of the relationship. Then at around three months or round abouts, they want exclusive commitment. I of course don't give it, and the relationship ends. That is how it has always played out since the dawn of time**.
The same story with Lara. (I know I am a horrible person) Whenever this happened I always would say to myself, "Well, if in a month I can't live with out her, then I'll go back." Or, "If in a month I can live without her, then I will... live without her.” Same thing with Lara... except this time to my surprise, I couldn't live without her. I was going nuts!!! So I prayed about it, KA-BAM! I received an undeniable 'Lara is the one' answer. I went back to her groveling and begging. Lucky for me she took me back, and I proposed 2 weeks later.
Anyway, I checked the name change with her, and she loved it. We were going to get married on Valentines day, but then we got bored. And no she's not pregnant for all you naysayers that ask that. We're in love, we have a place to live, we're having a small, easy to plan wedding, so we see no reason to wait. People who wait tend to get into trouble. Trouble we'd like to avoid. So we moved it to Dec. 14 2002. You are invited, seriously. If you didn't get an invitation I'm certain it's not my fault, I tried really hard to get these out. Some got returned some are still MIA, but with the exception of Mr. Michael Lehman, Mr. Aaron Calder, and Mrs. Lori Peterson, it's your fault for not giving me updated info, or keeping in contact with me. As for the three aforementioned individuals it is all my fault I'm a jerk, sorry.
Anyway, tomorrow’s the big day. I'm filled with excited anticipation. If you received this email you are cordially invited to attend.
Our reception is at:
Eastridge stake center
12770 s 1100 e
Sandy, UT 84094
from 7:00 to 8:00 there will be dancing, nicely dressed individuals, and goodies.
*SUCCINCT: spoken or relayed in few words.
**slight exaggeration to build emphasis.